Do want an SD tank.
This post comes from Feb. 16th, at like midnight sometime. That’s also when I wrote this all down. I think.
As I lay in bed last night, staring at the ceiling, listening to soft music, wondering about the world, science, us humans, and about every single human being, being indoctrinated with something that forces him subconsciously to separate himself from everyone else. From the very moment you’re born you’re brought up to separate yourself from other people. Oh, you’re a little boy, you hang out with the other little boys. You’re a white kid, you only hang out with the other white kids. You’re 5 years old, you hang out with the other 5 year olds. You have this percentage of mental capacity, you hang out with the other kids who are “normal” or “retarded”. You believe in god? Technically we’re all born atheists and children are indoctrinated with the beliefs of their parents, but I won’t get into that, that’s not what this is about. Well, we have a special building over here for people who believe in the same definition of “god” as your parents do. Oh you believe in a slightly different interpretation of that god? Don’t worry, we have a whole different building for each little variation of the same belief. You’re skinny? Here, come hang out with these other skinny kids. Your parents are rich? Hang out with these rich kids, don’t associate yourself with those poor kids.
I could go on and on about that forever, but I think you get the point. In thinking about this last night, just perpetuates my hatred for the human race and the period of our history on this planet that I was unfortunate enough to be born into. And if you even have the idiocy to ask me WHY I hate humans, or you even ask me WHY I hate the period of time I’m alive in, then you’re an ignorant dumb fuck. That’s all there is to it. If you can’t look around at the world in it’s current sorry state, and see that everything is fucked up beyond what anyone in history could have imagined, then you should go hang out with the retarded kids in sunday school.
Last night, as I lay in my bed, thinking about all this, I began to wonder about things that we can know. Clearly anything we “know” in our current state of being “alive”, can easily be changed with any new information we obtain. We should hold nothing in certainy, but instead with doubt. No matter how positively we feel about something, we should leave room for doubt. Thinking about this doubt, and this uncertainty in everything we “believe” about anything, I had some revealing thoughts. I just have this horrible feeling that the only truth, is in death. As long as you are alive…as long as I am alive, or as long as any form of consciousness is in existence, then anything is possible and anything you can imagine can become a reality. The only consistency is…the only time anything is ever certain, is when someone dies.
I feel depressingly comforted by that thought, I guess.
Maybe whatever happens after you die is up to you. Perhaps when you’re living on this planet, your thoughts about what happens after you die, your speculations, your expectations, and your dreams about what happens after you die, maybe those things happen for you. In lamens terms, if I honestly thought that I’d roll around in marshmallows forever after I died, maybe that’s what happens. If you think you go to heaven, or hell, or inside a volcano, or turn into a dragon after you die, maybe that’s where you go.
And that’s when the music stopped.
No one will ever understand that. No one will ever understand fully what I mean when I say that the music stopped. Technically speaking, it was when the music i was listening to stopped, but it’s much more than that. The music symbolizes us. The human race. The organisms that have fought for so many thousands of years to get to this point and we’re setting the stage for our own extinction now. No one will ever understand the music stopping. Not even me, and I’m the one who said it. It contains the most meaning in the world. All the meaning from everything that has ever existed for us is contained in that one phrase.
And that’s when the music stopped.
When existence stops. When everything that can think dies. When all of science, and understanding, and love, and logic, and reason end. That’s what it means.
When the music stops. That’s what you and I are. We’re simply music. Our structure. Our DNA. Our genetic code. It’s all a symphony. Our thoughts are music to the cosmos as it burns. Existence is ever so lonely.
I honestly don’t think the majority of the population of humans that inhabit this planet are very aware of what is actually going on in the world right now. I don’t think people are really aware that shit is happening every day in the world. No, what happened today was not you waking up groggy this morning, and shuffling over to the mirror to brush your teeth for work. Going to work and typing on the computer or checking someone out, then driving home and sitting around until you go to sleep to do it all over again the next day, that’s not what is going on. Shit happens all around the world every single day and I don’t think people usually can get a very good grasp of what exactly that means. So much happens across this globe every day because of the magnificent scale that we’ve swarmed this planet with our species. Humans are shooting other humans, they are kidnapping them, or just beating the shit out of one. Humans are dividing themselves up by race, religion, mental capacity, social status, financial status, or simple just on differing ideas of a movie. I don’t think we realize that we aren’t supposed to, no matter what you believe, we aren’t supposed to separate ourselves from each other. In 2011, by the standards we measure time today, we are in fact sitting on the brink of bringing about the extinction of the entire human race. Hearing about it everyday doesn’t make it sound like much, but it’s a really big deal. With the small amount of space travel and investigating we’ve been able to do, so far we still have found no neighbors. So far we haven’t found any other forms of life anywhere that would even resemble us, nothing to give us hope that there might be someone else. If there is anyone else, they certainly aren’t very close to us. We somehow need to make it imperatively clear to the human population, just exactly how fucking close we are to hurting the planet so much that it’s going to become unrepairable. This isn’t just some trivial thing. We literally have no where else to go. If we fuck up the planet anymore, it won’t be some continent that sinks, a couple million people aren’t going to die. No, it’s the entire fucking human race. As well as any other form of life that inhabits this planet. We’re not ruining life just for us, but for everything else that every could have been for Earth.
I honestly don’t expect myself to make much sense, or if you read this I don’t expect you to understand the situation in it’s full reality. Humans have gotten this false sense that we’re gods among the beings on this planet. We’ve gotten this sense that we own everything. I know this entire things sounds like the most cliche’ thing you’ll ever hear, but it’s our reality right now. It’s not a story. Look around, the world is falling apart. We have the technology to put humans on the moon, to send robots and cameras to distant planets and spots of space, we can see down to the nano scale, we’re advancing everyday in strides in robotics, AI is continually getting smarter, ect. Our technological evolution is greatly exceeding our social evolution. We’re able to communicate with people from all around the world, we’re able to fly giant metal tubes through the sky from one continent to another, we’re able to send music, movies, and pictures through the air. We have these incredible technological capabilities but socially we’re just a bump ahead of where we were in the 50’s. Our social and cultural evolution is required to catch up with our technological evolution, or we’re not going to make it. With the knowledge and power that we’ve obtained through science and understanding and technology, we’ll kill ourselves. With it comes too much power and responsibility that our immature civilization won’t be able to handle it and use it properly. As the human race, as organisms that are one with this whole universe, we’ve obtained too high of a technological advancement, that really, we don’t know what to do with and even if we did, we certainly don’t know how to use it. Absolutely not until we can fix how we live on this planet. Humans need to realize that we are in very serious danger of destroying our only planet. We’re killing the biosphere, that is the say the whole envelope of living creatures that covers this whole planet, through, pollution, over population, nuclear fallout, poisoning of our food, and a lack of food. In some way or another the human race is going to have to learn how to leave the world alone, we have to let the self balancing process of nature take care of the mess. Now how are we going to do that…
I want to give credit to Joe Rogan and Alan Watts as inspiration for some of the things I either quote or mention in this post. Also I’m sorry for the block of text.